Permission Not Grantedii

Until last week, I was a member of Girlsday and all of the affiliate groups that spring from the original group. I believed and still do in what they’re doing. Providing a safe space for woman to express themselves.

Unfortunately, the leader of the group does not allow room for other opinions. Whether in a post, an email or any other form of communication. She has a tendency to have knee jerk reactions if she disagrees with you. This has also been confirmed by others who work along side her and others who know her. We disagreed. Her knee jerk reaction? She kicked me out of all of her groups and blocked me on Twitter, FB and probably instagram too. The dreaded social media rejection. My response in my head is, who cares? The arrogance of someone like that is laughable. I never followed her on Twitter or Instagram. She’s important enough to my life to follow her every waking moment.

This is a creative who never once worked at with my company and many times asked for favors for which I had to say no. Because there was never any sign of reciprocity on the horizon. When I pointed that out in a private message, she got seriously angry. Too close to the truth I guess.

Funny thing is, I was warned about her behavior before I joined. Personally, I believe the growth of this much needed group has gone to her head. She’s a bad moderator at best. Only posting what she agrees with. Confirmed by other members as well. Rejecting posts with no explanation until you ask why.

I’ve tried to reach out as I believe this is an infantile display of the behavior. But she didn’t read my email for six days! Six days! And then blames me for wondering about whether my posts would be used against me.

It’s a private group, where I’ve posted private things. She had already violated that trust by sending my posts to a different social media platform. To get those posts down, I had to send that platform an email with my lawyer cc’d to get them to delete it as there was never permission granted to share from a private group. There is a reasonable expectation of protection when you post in a private group.

I find her actions to be vindictive and without thought. But I do understand why she doesn’t work much, as she’s told me before.

If this is how you treat your colleagues, you must piss off a lot of people.

Now, because she kicked me out of the private group, I can’t see if she’s taken down my posts in the group. It’s petty. Someone else in the group remarked, when I asked for advice about what to do. I apologized for my part in the misunderstanding. No answer. It’s pretty much her way or the highway.

Add her to my list of toxic people who are gone from my life. If someone asks about her, I’ll tell them the truth privately. Which is more than I can say for her disrespect of her own private group.

Hey all you women executives, she’s coming for you too. You’ve done her wrong. She wrote in private messages about the ‘berating’ she took. I wrote my feelings in response. Tried to be supportive. None of that mattered. She resorted to speaking about looks and how this person got to where they were because they were pretty. I was shocked. But because I feared her repeating my private remarks, I played along.

She represents the worst of who we want to be. She’s heading up a group fighting the exact behavior she’s displayed. There’s no internet HR person. So I have to speak here.

She’s a women on the attack with a vengeful, shallow heart. Don’t ever cross her. You’ll be blocked on FB. Which we all know is worse punishment than Guantanimo Bay. Lighten up lady. You ain’t all that.

You’re as big a bully as the ones you’re trying to expose. You called me names when I copied my lawyer on an email. Did that scare you? It should have. You were completely in the wrong.

Remember, it was your actions that made me need to have protection.

I hope you’ve learned a damn good lesson here. You’re not anonymous behind your computer. And I will protect my rights harder than you’ll ever protect yours.

The shame of all this is I support what the core beliefs of the group were and I hope still are. The leadership needs to change. Before a good thing goes bad.

5/21/18 Update:

I received a scathing email today six weeks after my last communication from her! Six weeks from the subject of this piece. I repeat, if this is how quickly she returns an email, it’s no wonder she doesn’t work much.

Everything I believed to be true was doubled down in her email today. It’s all about her and her previous ego.

I forgave her. Because people like that need to be let go of with forgiveness. One day they’ll come across someone they’ve wronged and that forgiveness won’t be there.

Accused of liable with my blog post, I’m waiting for the lawsuit. Honey, if I published your psychotically written email, you’d be laughed out of any court and the ad business.

This is who the movement chooses to help lead them. May I suggest a new leader without the baggage attached to this woman’s behavior? The accusations she threw at me were all things she did to me. It’s utterly laughable. It makes me so happy I’ll never have to cross paths with her.

I’d never work with her for any amount of money. This person is ill on so many levels. The worst kind of creative person in the community. Someone who believes they’re entitled to gifts, to break their own rules, and more importantly, treating a person with complete and utter disrespect and lies.

Oh, you are quite stoppable my dear. Your own words and actions will stop you. FYI- you do not own people in this town. And quite frankly your work sucks. I’d put my cabinet of awards against your crap any day. Damn, you give me the creeps. I won’t repeat your name to anyone. But you should hope to god no one asks me how I feel about you. And no I won’t take my blog down. Good to know you read it though. Stalker.

5/22/18 Update:

I received information today that I’m not the only one this person has done this too. How many more will I hear about? I don’t know. But I posted these thoughts on Instagram:

Not everyone involved in this group has the group’s best interests at heart. I beg the true leadership to make the hard choice and get rid of the rogue voice leading you astray. Most of you are great people. One voice can ruin and disrupt a movement. Want to be taken seriously? Remove the unstable people who are not in control of their words. It’s only artwork. It’s not the essence of what the group is about. Maybe the leadership doesn’t care. If not, I assure you, all will be exposed in time and your group will be dishonored by who you choose to associate with. What happened to me is not exclusive. You have an unstable person in your midst. Sometimes the solution seems difficult and like limb amputation. I guarantee you it won’t be as painful to sever it now, as it may be down the road. Threats to me of libel have to be proven as untruths. Show me the untruths and I’ll show you the facts.

Final thought:

An entire movement shouldn’t suffer because of one person’s actions. But this woman truly needs to go for the sake of the group. Men are not the only ones who bully people and misuse their power. Time to sit back and watch this fire burn.

2 Comments

  1. It’s really unfortunate when people behave in this way.
    Always the competition. Always showing who has more authority.
    Never once try to collaborate.
    It’s very exhausting.

    Like

    1. The truly unfortunate thing is loss of trust and attempted bullying of me into submission so I act the way she wanted me to. Basically, everything they loathe in that group. But their leader is doing it to members. Getting awards and speaking engagements. She’s a hypocrite. I’m almost relieved to be out of her groups.

      Like

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